james.

(no subject)

don't you call anyone else baby
cause i'm your baby still
it took a long time to make it
but i'll never change my mind
i'll never try to fake it
beautiful

finally got heartbreaker on vinyl

I got an email the other day while I was drunk. It came to me as a surprise since I thought that I had long been forgotten. Discarded like a bad hand in a poker game. But it turned out I was the luck in the draw. I'm that last sip before that empty bottle. You probably think that I'm thinking about you. Well I'm not. We have got our selves out of that mess and there is nothing else worth remembering. I'm getting published. In an anthology of sorts. Right in between the pages next to this and that, someone local and whatshisname. Who would have thought I would have such potential. But with every child, I must learn to run without the shackles. For once, I think I did something for myself.

I'm going back to school. I think this is a thing I must do. And do I must. I've spent too many nights thinking and never really going. There is too much wasted potential here, and I need to learn to accept true love; what it is to be alone and what it is to write.
  • Current Music
    come pick me up-ryan adams
victoria bergsman

i have climbed this mountain, and i have waited for the train to no avail.


when will i meet you baby? This city has tired me out and time continues to betray me as I walk around every corner only to find nothing more than just another block to walk. How much longer will this last? I wait for nothing more than a moment. I'm doing this for you. I'm doing it for keeps. I stare at myself in the mirror and see only a reflection. I have no soul, no heart, no passion for anything. it's all gone. The city has made me old and I have no aged well. I've changed with the seasons. Changed in a way that the sweetness of change has become damaged. The love that I look for is no longer in this town. The eyes i've longed for kept among the crowds but hidden behind sunglasses. say no more.  It is impossible to find you. some days will never change, and some looks just don't ever last. i'll look across the skies and reach out for your hand, but i know you will pull back and question my sincerity before you accept me with such open smiles. you have destroyed this melody. and i will forever be stuck in the chorus waiting for you. and i know, i know that you will never come to me. 

you've never had to be that person have you, to be the one within your friends who has grown wise much before everyone else. and you still dress up to look beautiful, but to no such notice. there is never a light on your face. you've never had to be the one waiting around, have you? in an empty room with no sound and nothing else but the walls. you've never had to ask yourself what it would feel like to hold your friends up your whole life and still be a virgin. well pass me the fire, i'll keep it going.



i'm falling now into a moment.
i'm falling into a moment


  • Current Music
    blonde redhead-23
dead

(no subject)


i wish you could be here with me
i would show you off like a trophy
the road it winds, it twists, it turns
oh my stomach burns